Please, let me fuck your mom
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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