She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
