I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
