But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
