you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize