This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
