My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
