and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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