i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
