Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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