ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
