So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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