I want to have your abortion
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
