you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
