Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
