My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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