i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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