I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize