I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I can't turn off my feet"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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