So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
