He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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