My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
