The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
