my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize