She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The power of my boobs compel you
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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