Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
