it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
