Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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