I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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