all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
