cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He felt like a one man threesome
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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