also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
