# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
