just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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