I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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