i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
