Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
