There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
