why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
