He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
