i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
