Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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