Will you blow on my dice?
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
