yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
