either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Randomize
