She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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