Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize