we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
