The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
As shirtless as possible
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
