He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
