i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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