She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
