who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
