Your mouth is God's brothel.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
