Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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