Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize